Who Wants to Go Camping?
by IMBSA
Summary: The Knights and Himeno go camping. Don't ask me, I just write what ever my Rice Krispies tell me to. Discontinued. Sorta.
1. The Horror Begins

Camping Trip!!! Chapter 1: The Horror Begins 

by: IMBSA

IMBSA: Here I am, back to terrorize you people again! Mwahahaha!  
Goh: Er, back from where?  
IMBSA: Oh shut up, you. I'm not gonna beat your ass again. I've already gone to jail for that. I don't need another mark-up.  
Disclaimer: "All of us are travelers lost/Our tickets arranged at a cost/Unknown but beyond our means./This odd itinerary of scenes/- enigmatic, strange, unreal -/Leaves us unsure how to feel./No post-mortem journey is rife/With more mystery than life."  
IMBSA: Oh, god. I KNOW I got someone OOC.  
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It was a normal day at the Leafe Knights' household. Attacks were flying from Goh, Mannen, and Hayate, breaking things left and right, while the others sat calmly in the middle of the room, oblivious. Yup, it was a totally normal day. Himeno sat in the middle of the group, a vein pulsing angrily in her head. The tinkle of glass breaking and the sound of wounded bellowing was getting to her. Finally, she slammed her fist down on the table (damn near breaking it in half as she did so) and stood up.

"Don't you guys ever shut up?!" She screamed, causing everyone (including the fighting trio) to turn and look at her fearfully. "All your noise is giving me a damn migraine!!! Jeez! I'd bet they can here your bickering on the other side!"

"You weren't the one who got frozen overnight by someone," here he shot a nasty look at Mannen, "so I suggest you stay out of it, Tulip-Head!" Hayate roared back.

"Neither were you, so you should keep out of it too!" Himeno replied heatedly.

"Please, let's not fight." Sasame spoke up, raising his hands placatingly.

"Shut up!" The pair shouted. Sasame opened his mouth to reply when Kei cut him off.

"You'd better do what they tell you," Kei began before Sasame could get himself killed.

"Yeah," Goh put in, having long since sat down to watch the two "go at it" again. Everyone tensed. It was a scientifically proven fact that whenever Goh opened his mouth, he wasliable to make the situation worse. Which, of course, he did. "This is one lover's quarrel you don't want to get involved in." That was it. Hayate and Himeno snapped.

Himeno leapt on him, hands going around his neck as she strangled him Simpsons-style and screamed, "Why you little----" Hayate was at her side, trying to hurt the Leafe Knight of Fire as much as possible.

When the two were finally dragged off, Goh was sheltering in the kitchen,kneeling with a hand in the cutlery drawer. Everyone was quiet, either because their mouths were duct-taped shut and they were duct-taped to their chairs (Himeno and Hayate), or their mouths were too full of food (Hajime, Mannen, and Shin), or they were in too much pain/too incapacitated to speak (Goh, Kei and Sasame). It was as silent as the grave. Finally, Hajime spoke up.

"I wanna go camping," he whined, blue (A/N: Dunno if that's his eye color) eyes scrunched up. He'd been obsessed with camping ever since they'd watched "The Blair Witch Project" the week before. Everyone except Sasame groaned (or at least rolled their eyes in Hayate and Himeno's case). He instead snapped his fingers.

"That's it!" Sasame exclaimed. "Let's go camping!" Everyone stared at him.

"Er, Sasame?" Goh asked cautiously from the kitchen. "Are you ok?"

"Of course I am. I'm just thinking that it would all do us some good to get out of the house." His gaze fell on Himeno and Hayate's duct-taped figures. "It'll cool all of our heads off." The two stared right back at him coolly. Well, Hayate stared back. Himeno started struggling at her bonds, obviously trying to end Sasame's life prematurely. Everyone conspicuously moved 5 inches away from her. Sasame sweat dropped and said, "Riiiiiiight...."

"I can save you guys the trouble." Mannen said cheerily, disappearing to his room. Everyone only had time to exchange bewildered glances before he returned, holding a small box in the palm of his hands. Everybody eyed it dubiously.

"Say, Mannen?" Kei asked. "What exactly is in there and what are you doing with that?" Mannen beamed with an "I'm so glad you asked that" air.

"This is the housing complex of my pet spiders. I have about 30 different spiders from 30 different species." He proclaimed, as a proud father would brag about his prize daughter. Immediately, the Knight of Ice found himself a prisoner of the Evil Duct-Tape of Doom (the authoress had so sweetly given it to Sasame at the beginning of this fanfic) alongside Himeno and Hayate. The spiders were promptly caged and tossed into a dark corner of Leafina.

"So.... Who all's for camping?"

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IMBSA: Argh, that was so horrible! : :holds head in hands: :  
Knights: O.OU  
IMBSA: looks up Oh, sorry. Uh, R & R. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. Warn me if anyone gets a bit OOC. Constructive criticism is welcome, but flames will be treated as the first attack and it will be WAR . I got this idea from the "What Type of Mage are you?" Quiz on Thanks for the inspiration!!!!


	2. No More Mr Nice Guy

Lions, Tigers, and Leafe, Oh My!

Chapter 2: No More Mr. Nice Guy 

by: IMBSA

IMBSA: Here's your second dose of my Pretear zaniness. looks around sinisterly

All: back away from her

Disclaimer: "Dear Mr., Miss, or Mrs. Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action."

Everyone who could raised their hands. Sasame's face relaxed. "All right then, it's settled. We're going camping."

"I'm bringing the food!" Hajime exclaimed, bouncing into the kitchen. Everyone sweat dropped.

After packing everything they needed, the Knights and Himeno (thankfully sans the duct tape) piled into the van. Needless to say, it was a hard fit. "I hope you know it's going to rain tonight...." Kei began, but as everyone looked at him with obviously hostile looks in their eyes at his attempt to dissuade them, he sweat dropped and meekly murmured, "Never mind...."

And thus they set off with Sasame behind the wheel. Sasame was driving because he looked and acted the most mature. More to the point, nobody trusted anyone else at the helm.

The ride to the campgrounds was uneventful (unless you count Sasame pulling over to break up Mannen and Kei in which there were many unrepeatable obscenities said on Sasame's part as an event) and everyone was cramped, moaning and complaining. After the aforementioned incident, Sasame had made everyone promise to not use their powers, something that made the younger Knights protest until Sasame threatened something that is again unrepeatable. Pointless though it would be to say this, it will be said. Sasame was annoyed and everyone else was now scared of him. It seemed that the Leafe Knight of Sound's patience wasn't as limitless as was often thought.

Everyone got out at their spot. No one at all was near them, not even within five miles. While this would be good if this were a normal fanfic on a normal group of people going on a normal camping trip written by a normal authoress, this isn't normal. All Mannen saw in the isolation was that no one would hear you scream.

They conducted a perimeter search to assess it. By the time that was done, it had started to get dark and cold. "Hayate," Sasame said, turning to the Knight of Wind. "Hayate, could you please light a fire?" Hayate started to say "no," but then remembered the other Knight's threat. It was guaranteed to give even the most fearless of men nightmares. The kind that made you all shaky and turned your skin green. The kind that traumatized you until your late adulthood. So Hayate nodded and went to get the matches.

A few seconds passed, then: "WHO USED ALL MATCHES?!?!?!" Hayate screamed as he opened the box and only saw the burnt stubs of used matches in it (A/N: Kinda like the sight in all the matchboxes in my house, tee-hee! -). Everyone stared at him. Sasame walked over, took the matchbox from him, staring into it for a moment.

Then, "Well Hayate, I guess you'll have to find two stones and strike them together." He said, nonchalantly dropping the matchbox into the fire pit, grinning care-freely back at Hayate. But Hayate wasn't fooled. He might have been the only one, but he saw the steely, slightly maniacal glint in Sasame's eyes. Chest heaving, Hayate turned around, barely subdued rage boiling up within his chest. Sasame had to have some kind of personal vendetta against him. Must have. Hayate mentally went over what he could've done, but ended up coming up with nothing. Oh, how the Fates were cruel. (A/N: holding Atrophos's shears Mwahahaha. Of course we are, Hayate. How do you think we get the killer rep?)

Sasame smiled a small and amused smirk. Of course, _he_ knew it was going to happen, so he brought his own lighter. But he wasn't feeling very generous at the moment and kept quiet. He would be damned and his carcass fed to the Harpies before he gave his lighter to Hayate. He also knew who the culprit was. His smirk grew. This was certainly going to be a fun camping trip.

IMBSA: Ergh, I didn't even attempt to keep them in character. Hope it's ok anyways. As always, R & R!

Oh, and Doom Squirrel, ::takes out pocket chainsaw and escapes:: Never fear, I have it all typed up before hand. Aren't I smart? Also...I'm an author_ess_. Please, I hope I'm a girl, what with my shrine of anime bishies.


	3. Murphy's Law Bites Ass Hard

Lions, Tigers, and Leafe, Oh My!

Chapter 3: Things Get Even Worse for Our Poor Heroes

by: IMBSA

IMBSA: Hello (again).

Disclaimer: We all know God invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

When we last left the Knights, Hayate was in quite a predicament. Sasame had asked--no, commanded--him to light the fire, and _SOMEone _had used up all the matches. He couldn't ask Sasame for _his _lighter because he (Sasame) would refuse. It was a dead cert. Not to mention, Himeno was laughing at him. And it was bugging the hell out of him. Finally, Hayate found two stones and tried striking them together. "How did I ever get talked into this?" He muttered to himself sarcastically. "Oh yeah, I wasn't _talked_ into that van, I was fucking dragged!"

Both Mannen and Himeno were irritated. They were cold, they hungry, and they-were-BORED. The two of them had held whispered discussion about the "burnt matches" incident and agreed that it was Sasame. But the two _dared_ not speak against him. His grim promise echoed in their ears and both winced at the thought. They grumbled in discontentment and sent dagger looks Sasame's way when he wasn't looking. Mannen sniffed. What he wouldn't give for some food at that moment. He caught Himeno's eye and knew that she was as well. They sighed, resigning themselves--and their stomachs--to a late dinner. It was gonna be a looooooooooooooooooong night.

Kei and Goh were talking on one side of the van, watching Hayate trying (and failing miserably) to produce a spark from the rocks. "Should I go help him?" Goh asked as Hayate cursed for the umpteenth time.

"No." Kei replied. "You saw what happened when Hajime and Shin asked around for a lighter to give to him." The two men looked into the backseat of the van. Hajime and Shin were still cowering there, even though Sasame was nowhere to be seen. The older Knights gazed sympathetically at the younger ones. What Sasame did to them must have been traumatizing. The two refused to leave the van, claiming it to be their sanctuary and that Sasame couldn't touch them because it was consecrated ground. Goh had a sneaking suspicion that whatever Sasame did had to do with "Highlander" because of those very claims. "I just can't comprehend how someone could use a whole pack of matches in the span of 2 hours. Especially _him_! He _drove_ the whole way!"

"Yeah. How could he have--"

"Talking about me?" Sasame asked, face a fraction of an inch from Goh's.

"Wha- AH! Sasame!" Goh exclaimed, jumping several feet away, his limbs high in the air. All in all, he was in quite a ridiculous position. Sasame merely smiled his trademark smile. To Goh, his expression seemed to be akin to one a shark wears when surveying its prey. This served to freak Goh out even more. He stood in that uncomfortable position, sweat pouring from every orifice on his body. Sasame, meanwhile, just kept smiling. Then, nodding, moved on, allowing Goh to drop his absurd pose and sigh to himself in relief. Kei shook his head, smiling in a slightly amused fashion.

About an hour later, Sasame finally took pity on Hayate and gave him his lighter so he could finish his job. Truth be told though, it was only because he was starting to get cold as well. Not that he was complaining, or anything. He had the others to look out for as well, and they were looking a bit frostbitten.

Hayate was thankful when Sasame gave him the lighter, though he suspected ulterior motives for it. Hayate lit the fire in a hurry, desperately needing the warmth. Stretching in as the firelight played across his face, Hayate relished the fire...and his new lighter. Sasame hadn't come to claim it, and Hayate was a firm believer in "finders keepers; losers weepers"; It was now no longer Sasame's lighter, but Hayate's. He smiled. Maybe it would be a good trip after all.

It was right as this thought went through his mind that it started raining.

IMBSA: Hayate cannot win, can he? snickers

Hayate: Hey!

IMBSA: snickers again, but edges away from him. thinks for a second , then frowns I have a question. The voice actress for Himeno, Luci Christian, also plays Lycorice ("Sorcerer Stabber Orphen") and Kaname ("Full Metal Panic"), right? But the Lady Captain ("Full Metal Panic", dunno her name) sounds like Himeno as well. And I mean A LOT like Himeno. Meanwhile, Kaname sounds like Lycorice. Could some one _please_ help me. I'm confused, and I don't like being confused. Please clear this up for me in your review. Thanks! Oh, and sorry with the Highlander references. It's amazing what I have to watch to survive up here. U

**Keiluva**: ::laughs MORE sinisterly ....:: Thanks for the review, though.

**FeatherWings**: Well, here's the next chapter! Hope you like it!


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